
Every once in a while something bad happens to you but you end up learning a valuable lesson...although, I wish I would have gained this new insight in a much less painful way.
A few weeks ago, I injured my back. I was shoveling mulch as part of a community volunteer project. At first, I just brushed it off to being totally out of shape and not used to such manual labor. I figured after a few days things would be back to normal. But then about a week ago, the pain became so bad I could not (and still can't) bend over to pick something up, carry my children, sit down in a chair, get out of a chair, get into or out of bed, or practically blink without severe pain in my sacroiliac joint.
I made an appointment (after suffering for several days, nurses are stubborn) to see a doctor, because I figured they would tell me to take some NSAIDS and send me on my way. I could do myself without paying my co-pay! The problem was, my appointment wasn't until Monday...and it was Friday.
So I ended up doing something I really didn't want to do. I went to the Emergency Department. It was a mostly satisfactory trip, I will keep what I learned from that experience to myself. But those pieces of information were also important.
Here I am, a week later, and I still can't do anything for myself that involves moving. So here's the point I'm getting to: I thought I had always been an empathetic, nonjudgemental nurse. I was wrong!
First of all, whenever I heard someone come into the hospital for back pain, I would think "Well, I'm a nurse, I have back pain every day. You don't see me asking for a PCA pump full of narcotics!" But until this happened, I had NO IDEA what back pain was. And as we've been told our whole careers, "Pain is whatever the patient tells us it is."
Secondly, I have had experiences where I've told my patients who were concerned about going home with a debilitating condition, "No, you are not a burden, your families are happy to care for you." Which was more than likely the truth, but I didn't really think how hard it is for someone to feel that they are a burden. Now I know! The guilt I feel for having my husband and parents take care of my children for me is overwhelming at times. I don't know what I would do without them. I am so lucky to have three people to count on, when others have literally no one.
So if nothing else, at least I feel that because of this injury I have gained more compassion for my patients. I mean, I have always had compassion, but that's one of those things that does not have a ceiling or a top limit. It's a shame that I have to do weeks of physical therapy and a large injection into my back, but oh well. Hopefully I'll return to normal one day and when I get back to work, I'll be an even better nurse and educator to my nursing students.
Have a good week, use good body mechanics, and if you find yourself in a similar situation, don't wait to seek care!
-Erin